i just need a space

to whom who may concern...

i am really sorry for what i have done, i go crazy all these time, i just want people to understand me, but i myself, never understand what i want exactly, i can't sleep, i can't think the way that i used to be, i just can't be myself...i keep asking what happen to me...but until now, i found nothing as my answer..

for these few days, i keep myself thinking about me, but then everyone around me step into my mind...how am i going to get focussed if things like never ends...i asked allah, not to help me figure out all these things, but make me stronger than before...i always said that i am strong, that is why all these happen to me, but at the end, i start to crying endless...

when i need you, seems like someone needs you more, so i just keep quiet...i have to realize, i will never can counted on you all the time, i have to settle down on my own...that is the main reason on why i stay away from you, not because i hate you, but i hate myself more...it is not your fault, my fault is bigger than yours...

so, this morning, when you asked what have you done to me...i am really speechless, i don't know what to say, what to explain...then, i realize, i really have to settle this quickly...i am a trouble not just as for myself, but as other people who care about me...i am really sorry guys...i hurt you, and i hurt myself more...i just miss the way i smile because i almost forgot how to smile...


notakaki : this is what have been told to me from someone who wants her story to be publish in here...not my story but her story...